While the boys get to play, us girls get labeled for playing the same game.
I was 18 when I joined the force as an administrative police aide. I was fortunate to have a lot of law enforcement members of various ranks take me under their wings, impart their wisdom and tell me the "shall nots" of the job. That may be why, I'm always trying to share the wisdom and knowledge that I have received to the next generation. I always try to pay it forward with information that can help someone else.
One of the many nuggets that I learned from one of my mentors was: Don't sleep around on the job.
While the boys get to play, us girls get labeled for playing the same game. I know this may be taboo, but it's true. Double standards are true and are no different in this profession than in any other.
If it's a serious relationship that you find yourself in, that's different. However, it may not be best to dibble and dabble with this partner and with that partner, and with this partner and with that partner, in this unit and in that unit. I suggest not mixing personal life with work life. Why? Because our reputations matter. The maintenance of our careers and reputations should be our priority inside the agency, and meeting the needs of our community should be our priority on the outside of our agency. I believe the same applies for men.
During our conversation more than 20 years ago, my mentor implied how the job (just like any other profession) was sometimes comparable to high school and that the men on the job looked for fresh new women on the job to sleep with just as juniors or seniors who pursued freshman girlfriends for the same reasons.
My mentor encouraged me and told me that my career and reputation should be my number one priority on the job and to make appropriate dating decisions because I did not want to be labeled a “h@e.”
A lot has changed since we've had that conversation more than 20 years ago. Although I still believe that information is sound advice, I also believe that it is equally important to understand your organization's procedures on sexual harassment and Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), if you believe that you are being harassed or discriminated against regarding this matter or others.
Although we live in a "new day," do we really?
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